Have you slipped into a habit of numbing during quarantine? How to form resilience over reliance.

I recently made the decision to drink only 2 days out of the week. With nowhere to go during the quarantine I found myself allowing the habit of wine drinking to start earlier and earlier. The motto, "it's 5 o'clock somewhere" rang true in my house.

I have to be honest. This was becoming an issue way before quarantine. Alcohol gives me courage and courage enables me, at a party or function, to let loose and be fun. It also helps to ignore the problems in my life.

Why I decided I needed to slow this down...

My anxiety was going through the roof. Instead of working through my emotions and realities of our new normal with my bible and prayer or even conversations with people I decided to open a bottle of wine. First it was glass then two and then it turned into an entire bottle. Yes I was washing down my frustrations, anxieties, fears, and anger with a new world, full bodied pinot with soft tannins and a fruity aroma that, in all honesty, needed to aerate for an hour before I drank it, but, ain't nobody got time for dat.

Then I drank tequila because wine could not even touch the craziness that has become this life in quarantine. When did I realize this was a problem? When I found myself waiting for a certain time so that I could tell myself I didn't have a problem. I found myself saying,"I need a drink". It had become essential and the straw that broke the camel's back was the day I promised myself I wouldn't pour a glass and then I broke that promise to myself.

How I broke the habit.

1. I PHONED A FRIEND. I needed an accountability partner. We made a commitment to not drink during the week for one week. We texted every day to make sure we were staying the course.

2. FLEXIBILITY. After that first week I loved the way I felt and my skin had even started to look brighter so I decided to keep this up. Then, the next week, I had a glass of wine on a Wednesday with my girls. Yes, we broke quarantine but we live in the same neighborhood. #sorrynotsorry. This is when I decided that I would not limit my two days to the weekend. If I had more flexibility than this was going to be a whole lot easier. That reasoned out logic proved true. Especially because now that restaurants are starting to open we are having date night on week days sometimes.

3. I LOST WEIGHT!!!! Can somebody please cue the victory bells.

Nothing keeps me motivated like actual visual proof. Bloat was way down and the scale has dropped five pounds in just three weeks. Ummmmm, HELL TO THE YES! Apparently, along with it's own extra calories, alcohol also makes me eat more.

4. REPLACEMENT DRINK. Funny thing--- I can actually trick my brain if I open up a Topo Chico and sip on that instead. It helps because part of the habit for me is sipping. So, if I'm sipping on something nonalcoholic than I'm not missing the drink just the feeling. Half the battle already won. High five!

5. Building resilience. I'm sharing this with you because bc I want you to know that you're not alone. I was medicating myself and there is nothing wrong with me. Even more it was making the situation worse, as best, masking it. You cannot work through something if you are ignoring it or numbing it. Everything we go through, if we allow it, can better equip us for the future. I'm proving to myself and praying to God that I will keep this up and rely on His strength and a new mindset so I can continue to form resilience and not reliance. I want a healthy body and a healthy mind.

A Broken Hallelujah